How Childhood Emotional Neglect Becomes Adult Psychological Injury

Unlike physical or verbal abuse, which are acts of commission, childhood emotional neglect is an act of omission. It is the absence of emotional response, as it is the nothing that happened when something should have. It leaves no visible bruises, making it one of the most insidious forms of psychological injury that can impact you later in life. When you’re a victim of this, it will affect you even after you’ve left the family home.

Distinguishing if you’ve been a victim of childhood emotional negligence when you’re in adulthood can be difficult, as it’ll be hard to think back to those times. However, it’s the first step of overcoming the psychological injuries. This guide will help you spot the signs of childhood emotional neglect, so you can get the right treatment and ensure that your current or future children don’t suffer the same fate.

How Psychological Injury Develops

When a caregiver fails to respond to a child’s emotional needs, the child could blame themselves rather than the parent or guardian. They conclude that their feelings, which is the core of their identity, are irrelevant or wrong. To survive, the child shuts down their emotional system to maintain the connection with the caregiver. Children are less likely to ask or receive help for this, as they are less aware of what’s right or wrong, whereas adults have the ability to start a psychological injury claim if they feel wrongly done by.

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Symptoms of Childhood Emotional Neglect as an Adult

Feel Different to Others

One symptom of childhood emotional neglect as an adult is a persistent sense that you are different or broken compared to others, even if you are highly successful. You will constantly compare yourself and the way you act to those around you, picking apart your differences and highlighting them in your own mind as a bad thing.

Hyper-Independence

An inability to ask for help could be a sign of neglect during your childhood. Since your needs were never met in childhood, you’ve subconsciously decided that you are the only one you can truly rely on so you push away help from other people and try to complete every task on your own. It can also make working with others feel more stressful, as you feel like you can’t trust them to get the task done properly.

Emotional Numbness

Difficulty identifying what you are feeling can also be a sign of psychological injury from childhood, as you might feel empty rather than sad or angry about a given situation. Scientifically called Alexithymia, an example of this could be that a close friend shares devastating news. Instead of feeling compassion or sadness, you feel intellectually aware of their pain but emotionally cold.

Poor Self-Discipline

Those who didn’t feel seen when they were younger often struggle to see themselves enough to provide the structure or self-care they need to become successful in life. It makes it easier to gain an addiction and harder to overcome it, as you constantly go back to what makes you feel comfortable rather than battling it with strong self-discipline.

How to Repair Your Psychological Injury

Naming the Void

Acknowledging that your childhood lacked emotional depth allows you to stop blaming your weakness and start addressing your injury. Just like with anything in life, knowing what the problem is and actively talking about it will increase your chance of overcoming it. Talking to a professional could be the best step to take in helping you with your psychological injury.

Emotional Re-Parenting

Learning to identify, validate and express your emotions in adulthood is essential for giving yourself the attunement you missed as a child. You can give your children the attention that you never got when you were younger, giving yourself validation and repairing the bad that was done to you, as you cultivate curiosity in your child. It can be very rewarding to become the parent you might have never had as a kid.

Breaking the Silence

Therapy often focuses on moving from “I don’t know why I feel this way” to “I feel this way because my needs weren’t mirrored.” This can allow you to develop a sense of understanding as to why you feel the way you do, so you can make the relevant steps to battle psychological injuries.

Final Thoughts

Childhood emotional trauma often goes undiagnosed for decades. If you feel a hollow sense of loneliness even when you aren’t alone, you are likely carrying an old wound that simply needs to be acknowledged. Finding ways to help you understand why you feel this way can be the first steps in overcoming it. While suffering psychological injuries claim due to childhood emotional neglect, it’s very important that you reinforce positive parenting on your children to ensure they have a happier home environment and don’t suffer in the same way.